Knowing someone exceptionally well takes the relationship to the next level but such knowledge can completely eliminate spontaneity and excitement. In time, sex may turn into something habitual. A proactive approach will be needed to deal with the problem but the good news is that it can be overcome.
Even if you love each other immensely, boredom in intimate relationships is something that most couples will eventually struggle with.
If you feel that the passion is starting to go a little bit cold, the time has come to do something about it. Here are some of the best approaches bound to bring the sparks back.
Do Something You Wouldn’t Usually Do
Most couples stick to the same positions, the same kind of foreplay and sex in a comfortable, familiar bed.
This routine can be broken up easily if you consciously refrain from doing what already feels habitual.
You may feel drawn to certain positions and types of sex. Make things a bit more exciting by playing a game. Challenge yourself and your partner to do everything but what you’re already used to in the bedroom such as using bdsm hardware.
Push each other to expand your sexual boundaries. In the beginning, you can start with something small like a new position. As you gain more confidence and excitement, move on to talking about fantasies and bringing those to reality.
Start Changing Your Understanding of Sex
For most heterosexual couples (and for many gay couples, as well), sex is limited to some foreplay and penetration.
It’s a good idea to start challenging that notion.
Sex can involve many other activities and experiences that don’t necessarily involve the typical notion we are all conditioned to accept.
A sensual massage can be a form of deep intimacy. The same applies to using just your hands or your mouth. Watching each other masturbate, fooling around like teens, temperature play and even sexting or virtual sex could be fun things to try out. You’ll probably feel uncomfortable at first but chances are that soon, both of you will crave such brand new experiences.
Bring the Toys in the Bedroom
This is an obvious approach but it needs to be mentioned.
There are still couples out there who are afraid to explore sex toys together. Luckily, the situation is changing! Approximately 60 percent of people questioned in a survey said that they’re using sex toys with their current partner.
Toys provide one of the most versatile opportunities to make things interesting once again.
The reason is very simple – there’s some adult toy for every taste and preference out there. You can start out with something classic and well-known like the good, old vibrator. If you are a little more adventurous you can explore dildos with foreskin and many other realistic sex toys that will give you the thrills and excitement.
If you’re going to invest in toys, start out with something versatile that both of you will enjoy. As you get more comfortable, you can continue adding to your collection.
Make Out in Public
Do you remember those early days? You used to make out just about everywhere, not giving a single care about how people would perceive you? Remember the one time that things got so steamy in a restaurant on date night that you were asked (not so) politely to leave?
Chances are that you miss the incredible heat of these first months.
Bring the passion back by having a public make out session.
Will you feel dumb?
Will it be enjoyable?
One hundred percent.
Making out in public gives you the added element of being watched and eventually caught in the act. Most people will feel some adrenaline rush at that idea. And you really don’t have to take it too far to get the memories back. Some passionate kissing will do the trick.
Talk About Your Sex Anxieties and Insecurities
Are there things in the bedroom you wouldn’t try because of your anxieties and insecurities?
Talking about those and sharing some vulnerability with your partner can be incredibly sexy.
Have you have some form of unpleasant experience with anal play in the past? Open up and tell your partner why you’re not keen on giving this type of intimacy a try. Do your body image issues keep you from having sex with the lights on? Since you’ve been together for some time already, you should feel confident and comfortable enough discussing those problematic areas of your sex life.
Even if you don’t take actual steps towards the things you’re afraid of or too self-conscious about, an honest discussion will be incredibly invigorating. In addition, your honesty will stimulate your partner to eventually reciprocate.
Write Down Your Sexual Bucket List
Most people have certain desires or sexual fantasies that they’ve never tried acting upon.
If you feel that passion is dissipating from your relationship, sit down and create your personal sex bucket list. Ask your partner to do the same.
Life is too short to refrain from having kinky, fetish-filled and fun sex because of embarrassment or societal taboos. Anyone who’s very keen on trying something new should go ahead and explore that desire with a loved partner.
In fact, your sexual bucket list doesn’t have to be very wild. If you’ve never had sex in public but you want to, go for it. If you’ve never explored rough play before, the time may be right to bring your wilder side out.
Whatever you choose, talk to your partner in advance and make sure there will be no judgment from either party involved. They still have the right to refrain from consenting if they’re not exactly on the same page. The point of the whole exercise is to give you the freedom of self-expression and to discover common grounds for spicing things up.
The first and most important step towards bringing the passion back is acknowledging that you’re missing something. Being honest with yourself and the person you love will make it easier for the two of you to begin exploring new ideas and forms of sexual play.