Marriage is all about give and take. It’s also about building and having trust in your partner. So, when it comes to things that can cause strife in a relationship, money troubles are one of the top contenders. In fact, financial issues can cause so much resentment that it leads to divorce. For this reason, it’s important to be on the same page even before you get married. Since you’re committed to your relationship, you and your partner owe it to each other to communicate about money, or the lack thereof, in a healthy, non-toxic manner. Below are some of the top reasons couples argue and the best ways to remedy money woes.
What’s Mine is Mine
When both partners work full-time, it’s not uncommon for both to contribute equal amounts of their pay towards household expenses. Then, whatever is left over can be spent however they want. This type of financial planning works well for a lot of couples, but not everyone. Some couples begin to resent having to part with so much of their pay, especially if they earn less than their partner.
If this has been an issue in your home, you need to have an honest conversation about how you feel. If you’re earning a lot less than them, then it’s completely okay to say you need to keep a little more in your pocket. That’s not you negating your responsibility; it’s simply saying that since you earn less, you need to keep a little more in your pocket.
Financial Infidelity
There is more than one type of infidelity in a relationship. Financial infidelity is just as destructive as finding out your partner has been secretly seeing someone on the side. Financial infidelity can be as innocuous as not telling your partner how much you really earn, about a bonus you received, or even contemplating cosigning a student loan for your child. When it comes to cosigning a loan for someone to go to college, you need to ask yourself two questions: How does cosigning a student loan affect my credit, and what type of impact will it have on my marriage?
While this may not happen often, it can be a sore spot, especially in blended families. Say you remarried and your teen needs help paying for college. You might think it’s perfectly okay to just go and cosign for a loan. After all, it’s your responsibility as a parent to help you child any way you can. The thing is, when you get remarried, it’s not just you any longer. It’s you and your spouse, which means not telling them about possibly cosigning is dishonest. The best course of action again is to be honest and talk your spouse about the situation.
Outstanding Debt
Bringing debt into a relationship another surefire way to cause strife, especially if you’re not upfront about it. What’s worse is if you or your spouse rack up credit card debt and don’t tell the other. Always be honest about your debt, and never open credit cards without telling your significant other.