The Pros and Cons of Separate Beds for Couples

For newlyweds still in the blissful honeymoon stage, sleeping on a separate bed might not be the most inviting idea. Sleep divorce is a growing trend and more frequent than you may imagine. If you’re currently on your honeymoon, the word “divorce” might be frightening to you. Can sleeping on a bed cause marital problem, or is it a sign that love is fading, causing a separate bed?

Reasons Why Couples Like to sleep in Separate Beds

Practically speaking, having separate beds can improve sleep quality. For example, one can snore or get restless legs, disrupting the other’s sleep. While this idea sounds reasonable, many inviting couples are still apprehensive about switching to two beds, and many couples still worry about splitting up at night. Here are some practical reasons why some couples prefer having a separate bed. 

1. Snoring Issue.

Finding a private place to nuzzle for a restful night’s sleep is a good enough excuse if someone is snoring. Even if you love someone so much, you wouldn’t want to sleep through an ear-splitting snore all night. Snoring by one partner can severely ruin a relationship. Your lover sleeps so soundly while keeping you up all night may make you resentful. When both partners are rested, marriage is much easier; therefore, sleeping in a separate bed is a no-brainer if your mate snores all night.

2. The need for privacy.

If you are clear about it at the beginning of marriage, it’s entirely okay for some individuals to need their space. If your relationship is new, you could already be aware of this aspect of yourself or your spouse. It might not seem strange to you at all to want to sleep alone. 

3. Restless leg syndrome.

Restless leg syndrome is not a made-up condition; millions of individuals all over the world experience this syndrome. It’s a syndrome that is difficult to convey unless you have personally experienced it fully. An intense impulse to move one or both legs is a symptom of restless leg syndrome (RLS), a neural system condition. It can be very uncomfortable for the partner who shares your bed and annoying for the person with the illness. Your partner can’t sleep because you keep moving and kicking your legs all night. Sleep in separate beds is entirely acceptable if you or your spouse suffers from RLS.

4. Different requirements for heating and cooling.

Both you and your companion should feel comfortable while you sleep. It is crucial for your overall happiness and well-being. You’ll experience some comfort issues if your partner prefers to sleep in the sweltering midsummer heat with the windows open. At the same time, you like to keep the air conditioner on fantastic every night. Sleeping in different bedrooms allows you to adjust the warmth and cooling to your preferences, which is entirely acceptable.

5. Different work and sleep schedules.

Married couples who choose to sleep apart with a dissimilar daily routine is one of the most common reasons for having a separate bed. Perhaps you and your partner alternate working the day and night shifts, or maybe your partner enjoys staying out late and returning home in the early morning, waking you up when they do. In either case, sleep deprivation can result in fatigue, irritability, and a general lack of contentment with life. It makes sense to sleep apart if your daily schedule is entirely different from your partner’s.

6. To promote a better sexual life.

You could immediately ask if spending the night apart will result in a decline in your sexual life. When thinking about having separate beds, many couples worry about this. Interestingly, couples who feel their sex life has stagnated frequently discover that going to separate bed can revive their desire for one another. Their sexual life in those conditions usually improves when they begin sleeping in different bedrooms.

7. Different needs for mattresses.

You will experience comfort issues if your companion prefers an exceptionally soft mattress while you prefer a hard mattress. The reasonable thing to do is to sleep in different beds if you can’t come to an agreement where you both feel at ease on the same mattress.

8. An issue with gadgets and screen time.

Couples may have severe disagreements over watching television together. It can make you resentful if your partner enjoys spending a lot of time reading through media on their gadget. It is reasonable to sleep in a separate bed if you want to escape a screen-heavy environment.

9. The aroma of smoking and drinking.

It may be problematic if one spouse smokes and consumes alcohol. The stench of booze and cigarettes being inhaled all night may not be pleasant to the partner who doesn’t smoke or drink. It may even be downright uncomfortable. If so, it makes sense to sleep apart so that neither partner must alter their usual behavior to get a good night’s sleep.

10. Baby responsibilities.

There will undoubtedly be interrupted sleep for at least one parent who takes on baby duties if there is a baby in the home. Parents frequently share parenting responsibilities yet sleep apart so that at least one partner may receive a good night’s rest.

Disadvantages of Sleeping on a Separate Bed

While other couple finds it practical and reasonable to sleep on a separate bed, others have some doubts about this idea; because marriage is a legally binding union of a man and a woman, sleeping in separate beds is particularly difficult for a marriage. In marriage, a woman and a man are expected to share a bed because it helps their affection grow. Therefore, is sharing a bed a terrible idea for marriage?” Here are something to think about in sleeping in a separate bed.

  1. Couples who sleep in a separate bed cannot tell whether one of them is more in need of their partner. It may be crucial for a husband and wife to express affection and appreciation during a marriage. However, if you are not in the same bed, you may not be able to do so, which may lead you to worry about unimportant issues that could cause conflict in the future.
  2. Separate beds could lead to misunderstandings in your marriage as well. The reason is that since you two weren’t together at night to discuss what needed to be done or not, your spouse may be wary of any small move you take and lack faith in you.
  3. The life you two enjoyed may be weakened if you sleep in different beds, and if your marriage was not built on solid ground, it might end abruptly. Some issues are best discussed at night while sharing a bed. Other times, you might need your partner’s love, but because you weren’t sharing a bed, you’ll notice that the foundation of that marriage is split 50/50.
  4. Sleeping in a different bed makes the opposite sex more distractible. When your companion is by themselves in bed, especially in the evening after they return from work, she/he will be unwinding while thinking of the people he might meet and the attractive person. You may notice that it will be simple to distract their attention to the opposite sex, and it will be simpler to do because your partner isn’t at your side. Being in different beds with your partner is not a clever idea.
  5. One of the most considerable obstacles to sleeping in separate beds or bedrooms is that it can negatively impact sex life. Researchers found that married couples engage in the most sexual activity before midnight and 1 a.m. A night out is frequently incomplete without a few cuddles in addition to some sex. They are essential to the emotions and intimacy of a marriage.


Having the “ideal” relationship takes effort, but many couples feel tremendous pressure to do so. It certainly shouldn’t be a surprise that couples may choose to sleep separately as a creative approach to maintaining their relationship. If sleeping in a separate bed gives you a comfortable restful sleep, that makes you become a better spouse then don’t let the opinion of other people stop you from choosing to sleep apart from your spouse. There’s no need to change your behavior if it serves your needs, your justifications are sound, and your relationship isn’t suffering.

There isn’t a single sleeping plan that works for all couples. Every marriage should prioritize getting enough sleep for each person. After all, a third of our lives are spent sleeping. According to research, being well-rested improves your ability to communicate and be joyful, compassionate, attractive, and funny—all crucial to building and maintaining excellent relationships.

Unfortunately, a large portion of our culture is still uncomfortable with the idea of couples sleeping apart. However, if you think you need to do it for your lover and the others around you, then do not hesitate to do so. Think of it as a financial investment in your closest friendships. Remember that nothing is ultimately more wholesome, joyful, or seductive than a restful night’s sleep.

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