Dating an emotionally unavailable man doesn’t mean that your boyfriend is a jerk. In fact, he could be a great guy to spend time with, and you could even see a long-term future with him.
Maybe you’ve tried to talk to your boyfriend about a number of sensitive images, and every time he seems distant, uninterested, and maybe even dismissive. If this is the case, he may well be emotionally unavailable.
If you think you might be dating an emotionally unavailable man, here are ten characteristics for you to consider that indicate he’s not very good at dealing with the softer side of the relationship.
He excludes you from his social life.
You might find that you’re becoming more and more frustrated that your boyfriend spends more time out with his mates than he does with you.
Not only that, when you’re together, he avoids telling you about important things that are happening at work or with his family.
If he’s keeping you at arm’s length, it could be an indication that he’s not prepared to invest emotionally in your relationship.
He doesn’t talk about how he’s feeling.
It’s normal for some guys to bottle up their feelings a lot of the time, but if your boyfriend is never willing to open up to you, it’s a sign that he struggles to be emotionally available.
Discussing your feelings and supporting one another through difficult times is an important part of any relationship, and it’s unfair to hide your emotions from your partner.
Maybe he has never had a girlfriend before and doesn’t know how to talk about his feelings. So, if you notice signs that your guy has never had a girlfriend, then be patient with him, he will eventually open up to you.
He hasn’t introduced you to his family.
Sometimes, emotionally unavailable men rely on their families for support and only open up to a couple of very close people.
As such, if your boyfriend hasn’t introduced you to his family and you’ve been going out for a while, it might be because he’s trying to protect himself and stop you from finding out some things about him.
Meeting each other’s family is a sign that the relationship is developing well and has a future, so if he keeps his family away from you, it doesn’t bode well for the future.
He’s tight with his money around you.
Does your boyfriend make you pay for your own coffee when you’re on the road? Or, maybe he insists that you split the bill after a date night out, to the very last cent?
While it’s important for both partners to financially contribute to the relationship, if your boyfriend is overly tight with money, it’s a sign that he’s emotionally unavailable and up-tight.
He never talks about the future of your relationship.
Talking about the future of a relationship isn’t easy. You don’t want to get totally shut down by your partner if you’re not on the same page, and you don’t want to ruin what you currently have if things are going well.
However, every couple has to have at least one eye on the future. You might not have got to the stage of talking about kids and the dream family home, but you should be able to share your aspirations for the future.
If he’s unwilling to discuss the future, it could be a sign that he’s not invested in the relationship and doesn’t feel comfortable making plans.
He doesn’t take an interest in your life outside the relationship.
For a relationship to be healthy, both partners need to have a life outside of each other. Whether it’s going out to work, socializing with friends, or playing a sport, it’s important that life goes on outside the relationship.
If your boyfriend isn’t interested in what you get up to or doesn’t show any interest in your achievements or passions, then it’s evident that he’s not great at processing his emotions.
He isn’t remotely spontaneous and doesn’t treat you to surprises.
Spontaneity is important to keep a relationship interesting. Whether he whisks you off to a European city for a romantic weekend getaway or surprises you at work with your favorite flowers, it’s a sign that he loves you and is invested in the relationship.
Conversely, if your relationship has become boringly predictable, it is likely to stagnate. Emotionally unavailable men aren’t interested in surprises or going above and beyond to make their partner happy.
He’s not empathetic.
Empathy is surprisingly lacking in today’s modern world. It’s the ability to stop and think about a person’s situation before taking action or passing judgment. It’s an enviable characteristic and is something you can work on.
If you find that your boyfriend is constantly nagging you or getting you down because of a particular aspect of your life without stopping to think about things from your perspective, it shows that he lacks empathy.
If there’s no empathy in your relationship, it will struggle to survive in the long run.
He rarely agrees to the plans you make together.
You might be hoping that he agrees to come to your best friend’s wedding or will attend your special family birthday in the coming weeks. However, all too often, he’s busy with his friends and not willing to make plans with you.
It should be a given that couples spend time with each other and make exciting plans. If you’re struggling to get him to commit, it could be a sign that he’s not emotionally invested and would rather be elsewhere.
He complains that you’re ‘too sensitive.’
People who are emotionally unavailable are often adamant that everyone around them is far too sensitive. They think that talking about your emotions is a sign of weakness, and by bottling things up, they’re being strong.
In reality, thinking that you’re too sensitive is just a reflection of their insecurity. It’s perfectly normal for couples to discuss their feelings and share what they think about a particular situation.
If he consistently accuses you of being too sensitive, it’s further evidence that he’s emotionally unavailable.
If you think that you’re dating an emotionally unavailable man, it could be time to call it a day. Although things could be good in the short term, if you’re hoping for a stable, long-term relationship, you need to be able to talk about your feelings and emotions with your partner.
Being emotionally unavailable is a sign that your boyfriend is immature and not willing to commit to the future, so you could be better served looking elsewhere for a partner.