You will need to move out of the house once your divorce is finalized, and it’s not a good idea to move out before that time. It may seem like common sense to get as far away from your soon-to-be ex as possible, and it may also be something you’re incredibly eager to do. Believe me, I’ve been there. I understand. However, moving now can hurt you in divorce court.
Here’s the problem with moving out: it can hurt you if you want custody of your kids. In order to show the court that you are an active, involved parent, you’ve got to be there in the house to spend time with them and participate in their day-to-day activities. You won’t be able to do that if you live somewhere else.
Another possibility if it’s a really nasty split is that living somewhere else will make it a lot easier for a manipulative, vindictive ex to cut you off from the kids. They could do this to make you look bad in the kids’ eyes or to make you look bad to the court. Or both.
If You’re Determined to Move Out Now, Read This First
If you absolutely must move out of the house so badly that you’re willing to take the risks, you need to have a plan. Choose a date for the move so your ex can make sure they are gone that day. This will allow you to pack and load your belongings into the moving van without your ex being there to anger or distract you.
To increase your chances of your ex leaving that day, make a formal agreement regarding who is going to keep what. That way, they won’t feel like they have to watch you so you don’t take anything they want. You can visit this website to learn more about your legal options after a divorce if you need help with this.
You may also want to ask close friends or family members to help you on moving day. You’re going to need them for more than holding the other end of the mattress. Moving out of the house can be emotional, and you’ll need all the support you can get during this difficult time.
What If You Want to Stay and You Want Your Ex to Leave?
You might be reading this article right now because you’re wondering how soon your ex will have to move out. It’s hard to count the seconds when you don’t know the move-out date, right? One way to make this happen faster is to jointly agree to a move-out date without involving your lawyers.
Once lawyers are involved, it is possible but not likely that a judge might order your spouse to leave the home. This typically only happens in instances where a spouse is abusive, has a serious substance abuse problem, or has certain mental health conditions that may be a threat to your child. In some states, the court will also legally separate you until your divorce is final.
Even if you are in this situation, it may still take a while to get your ex out of the house. The courts typically do not consider these cases to be emergencies, so they schedule exclusive occupancy cases just like any other case rather than scheduling an emergency hearing.
No matter who moves out or when they do it, the important thing is to try to make the process as amicable as possible for your kids’ sake. I know during a divorce every minute you have to spend in the same house as your ex can feel like an eternity, but eventually this will all be settled and you’ll be able to move on with your lives.
What Science Says
Past studies say that it takes a person, on average, eighteen months to move on following divorce, while others simply leave it at “it’s complicated.” And that’s the truth—divorce is hard, and because of this, science is only so accurate. For instance, some study participants might have been separated before being divorced, whilst others may have only recently called it quits. Some participants might have desired a divorce, while others might have preferred to continue trying to save their relationships.
It is evident that although marriages may appear to be identical on paper, their internal workings are messy, complex, and impossible to analyze like a mathematical equation.
What Experience Says
Despite what our loved ones or even scientists claim, we do know that people frequently become aware of their virtually unconscious “moving on” after it has already occurred. One morning, when they wake up, the sadness they have been carrying feels more like a memory than it does like a weight. You might be in the middle of a discussion or out grocery shopping when you spot the newest newspaper reporting on another celebrity divorce and suddenly remember your divorce, which is what you should be lamenting, “missing,” or still feeling the effects of. But not you as much. You feel centered. Although you are conscious of the scars you have on your body, you now own them. The best part is that you’ve stopped caring.
This carelessness is liberating! With some separation from your ex, it seems to happen a little more quickly. That means no “let’s be friends” calls or late-night, self-pitying phone calls. In fact, to aid in your rehabilitation, you must treat your previous relationship like a drug, for a specific period of time at least. You must stop exposing yourself to the substance and all of its triggers.
Instead of picking up the phone to “let him have it” or to beg, you need to reprogram your brain to do new things. Limit the triggers that make you want to call your ex (drink a glass of water every time). On social media, unfriend him or, even better, block your ex. Take his phone number off of your phone. Only use Family Wizard to communicate with him if you are co-parenting. The goal here is to provide a cushion so that the brand-new, developing you can develop. It’s not about continually being close to the person you previously believed you’d spend the rest of your life with, which would just make your confusion and grief worse.
Divorce brings about a completely new way of life that almost always involves changes. Many changes. You need time to process the changes and the numerous losses you have endured, ignored, or perhaps even created. In light of this, how long does it take to recover after divorce? We are referring to the interval between now and “You’ve Got Your Groove Back.”
Post-divorce life is described as a process and journey all its own, where “emotional and practical restructuring and healing” is a “constant, cyclical process in which you are broken down and built back up numerous times until you are finally whole again.”
This can also be expressed as: You will know when you are healed when all the broken pieces have been put back together in a way that makes you feel proud of yourself.
What You Can Do to Help Yourself Move On
Your starting is the most fundamental desire to heal. You must now proceed. Avoid acting in ways that remind you of the persons and habits from your past that you miss. Since you presumably did everything you could to bring all these things together throughout your marriage—the people, the routines, the joys, and the rituals—it will be difficult at first to reject these tendencies. You made an effort to maximize your marriage. However, your current goal is to establish your “new normal,” and in order to do that, you must rediscover who you are today.
Some women discover that their divorce recovery takes years, while others discover that since they had spent so much time preparing, they were already feeling better than they had in years after only a few months or weeks. We would like to reassure the latter group that you might indeed be feeling better. But keep in mind the efforts and actions you must make to maintain your healthy independence. You will be able to tell you have started to move on if you put the effort in and take care of yourself.
These are a few of the indicators.
The idea of going on a date is thrilling
When someone suggests you get back out there after a divorce, you might think to yourself, “What? Restart everything? This is a clue that you’re not over your divorce if you say, “It’s so much work. Instead of the fun it might be, the thought of dating seems like a chore—a set of boxes to cross off a list someone else has created. Don’t do it, then. Keep your attention on you and what you need to learn about reassembling your life. You won’t be giving it your all or won’t be showing up at all unless you complete this work.
However, if you become a little excited at the notion of meeting someone new, then you could be ready to move on—at least romantically. Be honest with yourself. Maintain control over your expectations of yourself, your needs, wants, and what you are willing to share.
You feel comfortable in your own skin
Your feelings are genuine. You feel healthy and full of energy, not just sexy, though there’s nothing wrong with that either. You experience calm and balance. Your life is moving in the direction that you want it to. In essence, you are comfortable with who you are.
This may imply that they have a job (and an income!) and a routine for some ladies. For others, it can mean finally realizing their financial situation and their strategy for the future. Or perhaps the children have stopped misbehaving and are settling into their new routines at both homes, giving you a chance to lessen your alertness over the moving components. But that state of being in survival mode is now over. You can glance up and wonder what else might be in your current power.
You feel positive about future
It was difficult to care much about your future, much alone believe there was anything positive waiting for you there, before your divorce and perhaps even occasionally after. However, recent unexpected incidents or occurrences have motivated you. You might be overjoyed. Look! There are numerous novel and unexpected aspects of your existence. You could never have anticipated that or made plans for it.
Being optimistic about the future requires that you have examined your history carefully and have come to terms with it, both the good and the bad. It implies that you are no longer burdened by the past. You are past blaming. Another clear sign that you’ve started moving on after divorce is when you’re focusing on the present while making plans for and creating your new future.
Your divorce doesn’t keep you up at night
Any relationship’s end is typically accompanied by a certain amount of self-pity. Days of wandering around in a haze and nights of weeping yourself to sleep. And now? You’re sick of feeling worn out. You’ve had enough of crying. Making preparations for your summer and spending more time with acquaintances as well as those incredibly lovely, constant friends become your new habits. The question “When was the last time I thought about HIM?” crosses your mind one day. And the mere fact that you have to consider it makes you happy.
Your divorce may never fully “go away,” but with time, it will lessen in intensity and become a quieter agony. Your heartache will eventually heal, and you’ll be wiser and more equipped to spot future warning signs. Experience is a gift that allows you to gain knowledge from failures and mistakes. Time and putting forth the necessary effort will help you gain perspective, regardless of whether the errors and failures are actual or only dancing in your head.
Guide On Moving Out After Divorce
1. Finalize your divorce prior to moving out – First and foremost, wait until your divorce is fully finalized before leaving. It might be a very natural reaction to want to stand up and leave uninvited when tensions are high. However, Spodek Law Group claims that it is one of the worst mistakes you can do. It’s easy to understand why. Legally, you are regarded to have abandoned the family if you do this. If the divorce is contentious, your ex-spouse may use it against you to get the house, the kids, and other assets.
2. Take inventory of what is yours – Once your divorce is finalized, start making a list of the things you own and wish to keep. Talk to your ex if you’re unsure whether you can take certain items. Consult the ownership ruling made by the court if that doesn’t work. All of these items should be placed to the side so they can be relocated.
3. Get rid of sentimental items – When moving out after a divorce, it’s extremely crucial to downsize before you relocate. Get rid of any ordinary items you no longer need or haven’t used in the first place. Second, discard any sentimental objects connected to your ex. This includes gifts, cards, and pictures. A fresh start will be simpler to achieve the more you get rid of or leave behind.
4. Book your movers – The more in advance you can hire movers, the better. However, we acknowledge that scheduling your movers weeks in advance may not be feasible given the current situation. We simply advise carrying it out as soon as you can. Many movers will also accept last-minute reservations. You might want to think about moving yourself if you don’t have the money or need for movers. If you’re relocating by yourself, make sure to reserve your rental vehicle and a few friends or family members early on.
5. Start Packing – The earlier you begin packing, the better, much like when you hire movers. Try to start your packing at least ten days in advance. Pack unnecessary goods first, followed by necessities. Keep toiletries and prescription drugs in a personal bag or suitcase that you can easily access. Give each box a thorough label. Finally, pack it in a box if it will fit. It will make moving day that much simpler.
6. Get moving – Relax if you hired movers. You are paying them well to perform the labor-intensive tasks. Keep yourself accessible, though, in case they need advice on what to move or where to put it if they have questions. If you are moving by yourself, make sure to keep your refrigerator filled with food for your moving assistance and assign duties to make the move go smoothly.
7. Start Fresh – It’s time to start unpacking and making your new place your own now that the hard work is done. The time-sensitive portion of unpacking is now complete, so take your time. Spend a little more and furnish or decorate your new home to fit your style. This will enable you to start over and convert your new property into a home.
Conclusion
Your specific situation and the rules in your state or country will determine how long you have after a divorce before you must move out. In some situations, you could have to leave your home as soon as the divorce is finalized, particularly if a court order requires it.
In some circumstances, you could have longer time to leave, particularly if you and your ex-spouse have come to an agreement on how to divide your property and other assets. To fully comprehend your legal rights and obligations before and after a divorce, including any deadlines or criteria for moving out, it is important to speak with a lawyer.