No one gets married, thinking it will end in divorce. However, many couples are maybe in a situation of constantly asking themselves if they should stay? or is it a toxic relationship? But, the person you marry isn’t the same person you divorce. There are so many factors that alter a relationship and the people in it. Here we take a look at why divorce is so common and the main reasons why relationships change over time.
Why Marriages Fail
Research has found that marriages fail for several reasons. Marrying too young is a common denominator in divorces. In fact, emotional immaturity can result in many arguments and the inability to see beyond their perspective, which is vital in a relationship. A lack of preparation is another common cause of divorce because an unstable living environment brings about its own set of challenges. Financial struggles also add to the pressure of preparing for a life together as this can result in unmet expectations of a spouse. Moreover, a couple claiming they are no longer in love may be due to unrealistic expectations of a partnership. Other reasons for divorce are inequality, mistreatment, and subjection to abuse and dysfunction.
A High Percentage of Marriages End in Divorce
Many people fear getting married due to the risk of divorce, and they’re not wrong in their thinking. Unfortunately, based on the divorce statistics, the average divorce rate is quite high. About 40 to 45% of marriages in the US end in divorce. Even in other parts of the world, the rate remains 4.08 divorces for every 1000 married persons.
Reasons People Give for Their Divorce
When we look at the reasons many couples file for divorce, they are all similar. They all believe they share irreconcilable differences. The impacts of daily life and struggles definitely alter or even diminish feelings over time. Depending on your relationship’s nature, you will discover things that may or may not be a deal-breaker. Some couples aren’t honest about the life they wish to lead and may have different goals. Moreover, over time, many issues rise to the surface that didn’t seem problematic in the relationship initially, whereas later they make life very difficult.
However, if your marriage contains no abuse or violence of any nature but merely an inability to communicate, then counseling is a viable solution. The thing about relationships is that they provide a new sense of self-awareness a person is not always ready for. Therefore, instead of bettering one’s self, people tend to become defensive. It’s easy to look at the partner’s faults rather than yours and many people struggle with effective communication skills to relay their wants and needs to each other. With proper counseling, couples can learn more about themselves, preserve their individuality, and in the process, become equipped with the tools to understand one another better. People’s behaviors and patterns in a relationship often stem from examples of parents. Of course, if your spouse has affected your well-being or health in a way that puts you in danger, reconciliation should not be on the cards.
Importance of Commitment
Humans are social beings by nature, which is why divorce has such devastating effects on a family. Many people, even those afraid of marriage, still long for a commitment since commitment resolves many challenges and problems. Commitment can cure loneliness, enhance life experiences, and help manage the day to day issues. A partnership is what many people still crave because being part of a team makes you feel safe. When commitment seems to fade, people feel uncertain and fear that life will become overwhelming. During hard times, couples can take the time to learn about the cause of their unhappiness and work together to create a structure beneficial for both. Compromise is essential within clear and fair boundaries, respecting both parties.
Valid Reasons for Divorce
Although preserving a family dynamic is important to so many married couples with children, it’s important to know that there are valid reasons to file for divorce. If you are ever exposed to any of the following circumstances, your marriage requires thorough contemplation. Filing for divorce is most likely necessary if one or both spouses are subjected to abuse, infidelity, or a partner is dealing with a harmful addiction. In these cases, couples tend to seek professional help or realize they cannot resolve their issues together and are better off separating.
There are clear factors that indicate why divorce is so common, and it’s important to know the facts. Understanding what can lead to divorce helps make better life decisions and avoid the pitfalls that have affected many families. While you may not be able to control whether your marriage works out, you can control your behavior.