If you’re like most couples, there are some tough questions that your spouse is dying to ask you – and you probably want to know the answers, too. Tough questions such as “Do I snore?” or “Does this make me look fat?” can be awkward to talk about for many married couples. But how do you know if your partner feels this way unless they tell you? Expressing concern about your physical appearance may be a big deal for your loved one and could even affect their self-esteem and confidence in relationships with others. Here are seven touch questions that spouses often ask each other.
Who Are Your Past Lovers?
Your husband or wife may have been the only person you’ve ever been in love with, but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been others in your past. Asking about a spouse’s past lovers can be a touchy subject for many individuals, especially if they feel as though they’re being judged. Many women often wonder and ask themselves; my husband loves to hear about my past lovers, why? You may worry that your partner will compare you to others and find you lacking in some way. However, understanding who your partner was before they met you can help them gain a better sense of who they are today. In addition, it can be comforting to know that your spouse isn’t hiding anything from their past by not telling these stories – this is usually an indication that someone wishes those memories would fade away.
Do You Think My Family Is Weird?
Many married couples may not want to acknowledge that there are problems within their family, even if the issues seem apparent to others. Some people may be afraid of offending their more conservative parents or siblings by bringing up controversial subjects like politics, religion, relationships, money, and sex with them. This makes it difficult for couples who don’t feel close to their partner’s families or vice versa because they can’t ask questions about sensitive topics.
If your spouse doesn’t feel comfortable opening up to your family, you might want to talk about how both of your feelings are being dismissed Asking these questions is a way of saying, ‘I feel like my feelings aren’t considered,’ so the person who asked the question isn’t being disrespectful of your family, they are simply frustrated by not feeling heard.
Do You Think I’m Boring?
Some people may be afraid to ask their spouse if they’re less than entertained in their relationship because it could evoke feelings of insecurity or resentment on their partner’s part. If your loved one often complains that you’re “boring” or “unfun,” then ask them what kind of activities they enjoy doing (and expect an answer like “spending time with you”).
Sometimes partners need reassurance that having fun together is important and that you’re willing to put aside your differences and get creative when it comes to having fun together. If you’re not sure what your partner wants, just ask. It might feel vulnerable to ask, but it can be a fun time for you both and even result in making new memories together.
Do You Think I’m A Good Parent?
Some people may feel that their parenting skills are inadequate or they’re overwhelmed by the amount of work it takes to raise a child. Often, parents who ask this question want reassurance from their spouse that they’re on the right track and doing a good job with their kids. If you notice your spouse asking about your thoughts on their parenting style, it’s time to step up and let them know how much you appreciate what they do for your family.
Do I Snore?
Some people can sleep through their spouse’s loud snores, while others are kept awake the whole night long. If you’re a light sleeper and your partner’s snoring bothers you, it’s best to address the issue before going to bed. It may be a good idea to invest in a white noise machine or purchase a comfortable pair of earplugs. Be honest with your spouse about how their snoring makes you feel and offer solutions on how they can make you more comfortable while they’re sleeping. Helpful sleeping tips to avoid snoring are:
- Avoid drinking large quantities of alcohol before going to bed.
- If you drink a lot of liquids throughout the day, make sure to stay hydrated but avoid drinking right before going to bed.
- Quit smoking as this activity can cause your throat muscles to become more relaxed and increase snoring.
Does This Make Me Look Fat?
Asking this question is never easy for either spouse as it requires a difficult conversation regarding weight gain and an individual’s self-esteem. In order to avoid triggering feelings of guilt or anger in your partner, be supportive in your response and offer helpful advice on how they can lose the excess pounds without having to go on a fad diet. Also, consider why they might be asking this question? Is it because they feel insecure about their body image, or is it purely based on concern for your health? If it’s the latter, ask your spouse to help you come up with a list of ways they can maintain a healthy lifestyle while keeping you happy.
Or if their weight gain has affected your relationship in any way (e.g., forgetting anniversaries or special events, losing intimacy), then bring these things to light and discuss how they can improve upon these issues.
Does My Breathe Smell
If someone has bad breath, it can be difficult to get close enough to them to sniff out the problem. To be honest, sometimes they may even notice that their breath smells bad, but do not want to hurt their feelings by saying anything. Instead, try praising your spouse on the things you like about them or ask questions that may help you discover what may be causing their foul-smelling breath (e.g., Are they brushing and flossing regularly? Do they have any oral cavities? Do they use mouthwash?). If the problem is beyond dental hygiene issues, it could be a sign of gum disease.
Therefore, bring this up carefully with your partner and see if they’re having any other symptoms such as pain or discomfort when chewing or swallowing food.
Asking questions is normal in any marriage. If you and your partner aren’t ready to give an honest answer or don’t feel comfortable talking about certain issues then it might be time to reevaluate how strong the commitment to the marriage is and consider if you are both truly dedicated to making the relationship work.