If you’re like most couples, there are some tough questions that your spouse is dying to ask you – and you probably want to know the answers, too. Tough questions such as “Do I snore?” or “Does this make me look fat?” can be awkward to talk about for many married couples. But how do you know if your partner feels this way unless they tell you? Expressing concern about your physical appearance may be a big deal for your loved one and could even affect their self-esteem and confidence in relationships with others. Here are seven touch questions that spouses often ask each other.
Who Are Your Past Lovers?
Your husband or wife may have been the only person you’ve ever been in love with, but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been others in your past. Asking about a spouse’s past lovers can be a touchy subject for many individuals, especially if they feel as though they’re being judged. Many women often wonder and ask themselves; my husband loves to hear about my past lovers, why? You may worry that your partner will compare you to others and find you lacking in some way. However, understanding who your partner was before they met you can help them gain a better sense of who they are today. In addition, it can be comforting to know that your spouse isn’t hiding anything from their past by not telling these stories – this is usually an indication that someone wishes those memories would fade away.
Do You Think My Family Is Weird?
Many married couples may not want to acknowledge that there are problems within their family, even if the issues seem apparent to others. Some people may be afraid of offending their more conservative parents or siblings by bringing up controversial subjects like politics, religion, relationships, money, and sex with them. This makes it difficult for couples who don’t feel close to their partner’s families or vice versa because they can’t ask questions about sensitive topics.
If your spouse doesn’t feel comfortable opening up to your family, you might want to talk about how both of your feelings are being dismissed Asking these questions is a way of saying, ‘I feel like my feelings aren’t considered,’ so the person who asked the question isn’t being disrespectful of your family, they are simply frustrated by not feeling heard.
Do You Think I’m Boring?
Some people may be afraid to ask their spouse if they’re less than entertained in their relationship because it could evoke feelings of insecurity or resentment on their partner’s part. If your loved one often complains that you’re “boring” or “unfun,” then ask them what kind of activities they enjoy doing (and expect an answer like “spending time with you”).
Sometimes partners need reassurance that having fun together is important and that you’re willing to put aside your differences and get creative when it comes to having fun together. If you’re not sure what your partner wants, just ask. It might feel vulnerable to ask, but it can be a fun time for you both and even result in making new memories together.
Do You Think I’m A Good Parent?
Some people may feel that their parenting skills are inadequate or they’re overwhelmed by the amount of work it takes to raise a child. Often, parents who ask this question want reassurance from their spouse that they’re on the right track and doing a good job with their kids. If you notice your spouse asking about your thoughts on their parenting style, it’s time to step up and let them know how much you appreciate what they do for your family.
Do I Snore?
Some people can sleep through their spouse’s loud snores, while others are kept awake the whole night long. If you’re a light sleeper and your partner’s snoring bothers you, it’s best to address the issue before going to bed. It may be a good idea to invest in a white noise machine or purchase a comfortable pair of earplugs. Be honest with your spouse about how their snoring makes you feel and offer solutions on how they can make you more comfortable while they’re sleeping. Helpful sleeping tips to avoid snoring are:
- Avoid drinking large quantities of alcohol before going to bed.
- If you drink a lot of liquids throughout the day, make sure to stay hydrated but avoid drinking right before going to bed.
- Quit smoking as this activity can cause your throat muscles to become more relaxed and increase snoring.
Does This Make Me Look Fat?
Asking this question is never easy for either spouse as it requires a difficult conversation regarding weight gain and an individual’s self-esteem. In order to avoid triggering feelings of guilt or anger in your partner, be supportive in your response and offer helpful advice on how they can lose the excess pounds without having to go on a fad diet. Also, consider why they might be asking this question? Is it because they feel insecure about their body image, or is it purely based on concern for your health? If it’s the latter, ask your spouse to help you come up with a list of ways they can maintain a healthy lifestyle while keeping you happy.
Or if their weight gain has affected your relationship in any way (e.g., forgetting anniversaries or special events, losing intimacy), then bring these things to light and discuss how they can improve upon these issues.
Does My Breathe Smell
If someone has bad breath, it can be difficult to get close enough to them to sniff out the problem. To be honest, sometimes they may even notice that their breath smells bad, but do not want to hurt their feelings by saying anything. Instead, try praising your spouse on the things you like about them or ask questions that may help you discover what may be causing their foul-smelling breath (e.g., Are they brushing and flossing regularly? Do they have any oral cavities? Do they use mouthwash?). If the problem is beyond dental hygiene issues, it could be a sign of gum disease.
Therefore, bring this up carefully with your partner and see if they’re having any other symptoms such as pain or discomfort when chewing or swallowing food.
Asking questions is normal in any marriage. If you and your partner aren’t ready to give an honest answer or don’t feel comfortable talking about certain issues then it might be time to reevaluate how strong the commitment to the marriage is and consider if you are both truly dedicated to making the relationship work.
Why Is It Important To Understand Your Partner?
A marriage can stay healthy and happy as long as the couple has a good understanding of each other and what they want from each other.
If a couple doesn’t know how to communicate with each other, they are likely to fight because they don’t understand each other and make wrong assumptions about each other. If you and your partner fought less and got to know each other better, your marriage would be healthier and happier.
Research on how couples work shows that knowing your partner is a key part of having a strong relationship with them. It means being aware of each other’s personal histories, different hopes for marriage, and painful experiences from the past.
Partners need to feel like they’re understood by each other in order to feel close to each other. They feel loved, heard, and seen by their partner. And that, in turn, makes both partners happier overall in their marriage.
10 Ways to Better Understand Your Partner
1. Spend Time Getting to Know Them Better
It can be hard to understand your partner because you are both different people with different thoughts and feelings.
To really understand a different person who is your partner, you need to know their strengths and weaknesses, what makes them happy, sad, scared, etc.
Well, the most important thing to do is still to spend some time getting to know your partner. It could take a few months or even a few years. But the truth is that you will get to know them better in the long run if you try.
2. Understand Yourself First
Everything you want in life starts with you. You’ve probably heard the saying, “You get what you give.” You can’t really understand someone else if you can’t even understand yourself.
Don’t forget that everyone wants to be treated fairly. So, you’ll know how to treat your partner if you know what you want and how you want to be treated.
If you know yourself, you will probably also know your partner. We all want happiness, care, and love, which are pretty much the same things.
3. Never Impose Your Ideals On Them
If you want to learn how to understand your partner better, you should stop making them do what you think is right.
One thing about humans is that our thoughts, ideas, and points of view are all different. We have our peculiarities and uniqueness. So, our ideas are bound to be different.
Because of this, you should respect the differences between you and your partner. Because you might not always agree with what they say.
Even if you think you are more mature or have more life experience, don’t just say that your ideas are better than your partner’s. If you do that, you won’t be able to see the truth about them. You won’t know how they really feel because of this.
4. Keep In Mind That You Are Not Always Right
This mentality of who is right or wrong is one of the toxic factors that kills relationships far too quickly.
You can’t call yourself an understanding partner if you don’t care to hear what your partner has to say simply because you believe you’re right.
You should be willing to listen to your partner because they may be correct after all. Who knows, you might be completely wrong.
It’s actually very toxic to be in a relationship where one party is always wrong and the other is Mr. or Mrs. Right. No one wants to end up with a partner like this.
5. How Often Do You Compromise?
Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to find common ground. There will be a lot of forgiveness. There was also a lot of kindness. That is what distinguishes you as a considerate partner.
Finding common ground is essential in any relationship. That’s what compromise is all about.
As you and your partner are two distinct individuals, there will be times when your interests clash. How do you deal with such problems?
The easiest way is by compromising.
When you both compromise, you will arrive at a point where it is a win-win situation. Or, in the worst-case scenario, a win-lose situation.
6. Before Reacting, Listen to Your Partner
Of course, everyone wants to be heard. Why not pay attention to your partner?
I’m sure you understand how difficult it is to be accused. Especially when you aren’t allowed to express yourself. That’s how your partner feels when you never listen to them before reacting.
To truly understand your partner—how they feel, why they behave the way they do, why they’re moody, happy, aggressive, or indifferent—pay close attention. Always keep an open mind.
Don’t react too quickly if you believe your partner has done something he or she should not have done. First and foremost, pay attention to what they are saying. Who knows, maybe there’s a good reason for their behavior. Or perhaps there is a mistake somewhere. It’s always safer to listen first.
7. Always Choose Kindness Over Anger
It’s not easy to forgive and forget, but if you really want to, you can choose to be kind no matter how bad you feel.
Let us now assume that your partner was completely wrong. You have every right to be annoyed.
But, as a supportive partner, you don’t have to let that rage get the best of you. Instead, you must be kind.
Of course, anger is a normal reaction to social mistreatment, but if you don’t keep your anger in check, you might end up making things worse. To avoid this, only respond to any issues with your partner when you’re in a better mood.
8. Help Your Partner In Learning From Their Mistakes
Why not teach your partner how to do it right instead of criticizing them?
Mutual support should be the focus of any relationship. And there is no better way to show your support for your partner than to assist them in learning from their mistakes. You don’t have to be a constant critic.
It’s possible that your partner is already in a bad mood. They probably wish they could go back in time and undo what they’ve already done. Don’t aggravate the situation.
All you have to do as someone who understands your partner is assist them in getting better. Assist them in healing. Above all, be available to them.
9. Encourage Your Partner To Be More Open
The truth is that your level of understanding with your partner is directly related to how open you are to each other. In other words, the amount you share with your partner determines your level of understanding.
When you decide to be vulnerable in front of your partner and share your innermost thoughts, they will be able to access your reality. That’s when they’ll get to know the real you.
10. Be There For Them
Companionship is arguably a very important reason for relationships.
We all want someone who will be there for us when we need them. Someone who will provide us with the emotional support we need when we are down
You must stay if you truly want to understand your partner. Always be available to them. Allow for unquestionable availability. Make them realize you have them. Assure them that you and your partner are in this together. It won’t be long before the intimacy grows stronger.