Children are very special to both their parents. Still, they usually have a much stronger connection with their mother because they were once in their womb. That’s why mothers believe they need to have custody of the kids.
You probably also love your kids very much and want to stay with them, but you’re going to have to get through the difficult child custody case first. It will be very trying, but you need to keep your head up high and focus on the end goal.
What is Child Custody?
The decision regarding which parent will have custody of their children impacts both the rights and responsibilities of that parent about their children. When a couple gets married, the couple’s rights and responsibilities toward their children are automatically split in half. Nevertheless, when a couple gets divorced, either the parents themselves or the courts have to decide how custody of the children will be split up.
The term “custodial parent” is used to refer to the parent who has primary custody of the child. According to the most recent statistics, there are currently 13.4 million custodial single parents residing in the United States of America.
What are the Different Types of Child Custody?
Physical Custody
The parent who is awarded physical custody is the one who will have primary residential responsibility for the child. The name given to this parent is called the custodial parent. When a child spends most of their time with one parent, the other parent will typically have visitation rights or some other kind of parenting time with the child.
Legal Custody
A parent who has legal custody of their kid has the authority to make specific decisions on behalf of the child. Both parents can share legal parental rights with their kids even in situations when only one parent has physical custody of the children. When just one parent has legal custody of a kid, that parent is the only one who needs the permission of the other parent to make decisions that affect the child.
Sole Custody
The term “sole custody” is used to describe situations in which only one parent has legal and/or physical custody of a child. In most cases, this takes place when one of the parents is considered incompetent to care for the child, typically because of a dependency on alcohol or drugs, allegations of abuse, or neglect.
Joint Custody
After a divorce, some families choose to continue sharing parental rights and duties for their children through an agreement known as joint custody. On the same level as sole custody, this can be considered physical custody of the child. This means that the child continues to spend a significant amount of time with each parent and that the child’s parents continue to collaborate in making decisions regarding the child’s upbringing.
This kind of arrangement can have considerable advantages since it lightens the load of parenting responsibilities and makes it possible for both parents to be actively involved in their child’s life. Nonetheless, consideration must be given to the amount of time that children spend traveling, and parents must be able to work together. If they don’t change their ways, they run the risk of exposing the children to a toxic atmosphere.
No matter what the reason is, you need to put your best foot forward and remember these five tips.
5 Tips for Winning Your Child Custody Case as a Mom
Find an Excellent Family Lawyer
It doesn’t matter whether you think your case is weak or strong, an excellent family lawyer can make sure no stone is turned, and every option is used to win the case.
A family lawyer can do many things that you can’t do yourself. A reputable attorney will know how these cases work, understand your needs, figure out what’s weak and strong about your case, and much more. Not to mention, the right lawyer will have a proper understanding of the law and the required knowledge to plan a winning strategy.
Stay Involved in Your Children’s life
Whether you are about to file or you already have, it is imperative to be involved in your children’s life.
You need to take out more time for their school activities, take out time to meet their teachers, and spend more time with them overall. Kids are very sensitive, and you need to give them a lot of time and energy. That is why you shouldn’t be afraid to jump into anything when it comes to your kids.
Avoid Criticizing Their Other Parent
Too often, one parent starts to say negative things about the other parent simply because they want to undermine them and win the case.
However, you should try not to criticize the other parent at all in front of the kids. You need to realize that it’s not only about winning the case but also about doing what’s best for your children and taking care of them.
Besides, a judge would favor you more if you are keen on promoting a healthy relationship between your children and their other parent. But of course, there are some cases where it’s best to stay away.
Keep an Open Mind
Many people are convinced that they want sole custody of the kids, and they will stop at nothing to get it. They don’t want the other parent to have any rights.
While that is ideal for some instances, you should try to be open to negotiation if the other parent has a sound mind and your kids like them.
You need to keep in mind that they are a parent just like you, and they will miss the kids as well. So while you want to aim for full custody, at least allow some visitation rights. If not, then think about your kids. Maybe they will start missing their other parent and could end up resenting you for keeping them apart.
Make Sure Your Children Aren’t Suffering
Many parents do their best to fight the case and aim for a win, but they get too caught up in everything and fail to check up on their kids.
You shouldn’t make that mistake. You kids could be depressed because of everything that is going on in the house. While you may not realize this now, your divorce might ruin your children’s future if you don’t properly take care of them.
Other Tips for Winning Your Child Custody Case as a Mom
Express Your Willingness to Collaborate with Your Former Partner
Keep in mind that you and the other parent of your child will be working together on this project, as the legal system prefers that you cooperate rather than compete with one another.
Be Punctual
If you want to show good faith to the court and make sure that the other parent of your child is not always complaining about something that you typically have control over, then you should do the following. There is going to be a problem if you are either late, don’t show up, or don’t let your former spouse know where you are bringing the children when you are taking them, or for how long you are taking them.
Do Not Rearrange Visits with Your Children
It is a sign of instability and possibly indicates that you are fighting for custody for the wrong reasons, such as control, revenge, or money because you don’t want to pay child support if you reschedule visits frequently. If you don’t want to pay child support, you should not reschedule visits frequently.
Make Sure Your Expectations Are Practical and Reasonable
One example is if you want visits on the weekends and during holidays, you need to be realistic about the time the other parent of your child can spend with their children if you want to get what you want.
Don’t Use Unethical Methods
Use of one’s children as weapons, threatening or physically harming the other parent in any way, invading privacy, or spying on the other parent are all examples of dirty tactics. They will only serve to harm you and provide your ex with more ammunition to use against you. They will do nothing else.
Maintain a Journal and Record Every Detail
These involve things that your ex-partner does or says that are harmful to you. It’s possible that you don’t think it’s that significant but you’re going to need this when the other parent of your child tries to make you appear less favorable in front of the judge.
Do Not Be Reluctant to Hire a Lawyer
It is highly suggested that you seek access to a lawyer if you are engaged in a dispute over parental responsibility for a child. It is going to be quite challenging for you to prevail in court against a former partner who already has an attorney working for them, especially if you do not have the financial resources necessary to represent yourself.
Attempt to Settle Disagreements with the Other Parent Alone
If you need a mediator, you should make an effort to maintain things reasonable and fair, but you shouldn’t accept mediators or judges who are unreasonable.
Recognize That This Is a Game of Perception
The way in which the court views you in the end is the only thing that truly matters. It is not the errors of the past that matter the most; rather, it is the behavior of the present that matters the most, specifically how you have treated your children, your spouse, and your responsibilities ever since the birth of your child.
If you had a history of legal issues before a kid entered your life, the court will focus more on how you have handled the additional duty of caring for a child. Unless it was a particularly violent act, it shouldn’t be a deal breaker.