Going through a separation can be tough for everyone involved. While you may want to wallow in your sadness – and you should certainly make time to do so – if you have children, you need to understand that this will affect them as well.
Whether they are young and don’t fully understand what is happening, or they are older, it’s sure to be a very difficult time for them. That’s why you need to help them cope. Keep reading to learn how.
Get a lawyer
You might be wondering how a lawyer can help make the process easier for your children. The truth is that divorces tend to be more amicable when a lawyer is involved. This means that you and your spouse might be able to remain on good terms. If you go through the process without a lawyer, things could get ugly.
A lawyer serves as the mediator or third party in this stressful situation. You and your spouse’s minds can be affected by intense emotions towards each other, clouding logical reasoning and rational thinking. A lawyer can help you find ways to better communicate with each other and deal with your children’s welfare and future.
On top of that, a lawyer such as a Skyview Law family lawyer will have experience dealing with such matters and be able to work out a situation that is best for the children as well as for you and your ex-partner.
Consider having them get therapy
Divorce can tremendously affect young children, especially those with disabilities. Some children can cope with the effects of a divorce without it impacting them too severely, but most children struggle. Younger children will be confused and have problems adapting to the change, whereas older children may get angry and lash out.
If you are not equipped to deal with this yourself, getting professional help for your kids can be a great idea. This way, they will learn to deal with their emotions, and the divorce won’t seem as daunting to them.
It pays off to take advantage of early childhood intervention in Perth to help your child physically and psychologically. An occupational therapist can give you and your children guidance in dealing with the stress and problems caused by separation.
A family counselor can provide thorough family coaching sessions to help each of you communicate concerns and support one another. In this way, family members feel included and understood throughout the divorce. Children also receive assurance that they should not blame themselves for their parent’s separation.
Behavior therapy is one example of a psychotherapy treatment that children of divorcing couples can undergo to overcome the psychological impacts of separation. An example of behavior therapy is cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), which teaches the children how to become aware and cope with their negative thoughts and behaviors towards a stressful situation.
Therapy can also be a good idea to help your child in general, not just when it comes to the divorce. You can learn more about whether your child would benefit from therapy here.
You should make time for yourself and you should also deal with your own emotions. Even if you will want to focus all of your attention on your children, you need to take care of yourself too.
That being said, you shouldn’t get so caught up in your own feelings that you aren’t there for your kids. Even if they blame you or they are angry at you, they still need you. Keep in mind that they may struggle and not be themselves for a while. You should support them and allow them a safe space to talk about their feelings. Being a supportive parent can be hard, but it’s so worth it.
Be honest with them
While you may want to shelter your children from any hurt, you also need to be honest with them about the situation. Of course, there are some things that they don’t need to know. For example, they don’t need to know about child support issues. You also shouldn’t badmouth your ex-spouse in front of your children.
But you certainly shouldn’t hide the fact that you are getting divorced. Blindsiding children with such big news is never a good idea. Find a good balance between sheltering them and being honest.